Tim

Year Joined: When most of the people playing today were still in diapers
Team History: Lost in the annals of time. Was a player when Reagan was still President and through the first of the elder Bush years. At one point I was partnered with the Mother Superior. Yeah, really. By the time Clinton took over the white house, I had grasped control of the judges chair and it has remained in my iron grasp ever since.
Favorite Insult: “Anyone who didn’t laugh at that last joke needs to stop surfing the internet for porn and read a book.”
Favorite Moment: “Talking to a couple in the Vet clinic about six years ago. I told them I worked out at the Renaissance Festival and they said ‘oh yeah, we love it there! You know what our favorite show is?’
‘No’ I responded.
‘Vilification Tennis! Have you ever seen it?’
‘A couple of times…’
‘It is the absolute best on the last day. Have you seen what they do on the last day?’
Again, I had to admit that I had indeed seen the show on the last day.
Sadly, my wife took pity on them and told them who I was. I was totally going to look for them at the festival that season so I could walk up to them after a show and say ‘You are right – that show is pretty good.’”

Tim was born in the brothels of Sri Lanka to a club footed mother and an unemployed male prostitute. He was rescued from a life of sexual slavery by the Mayor of Gary, Indiana. As soon as he was old enough (4) to realize how boring Gary was, he rode the rails for a few years, eventually ending up in Minnesota.

As a teenager, he contemplated joining the Peace Corps or the Drum Corps while operating under a misapprehension that they were the same thing. He instead chose to begin his long and “successful” career at the Minesota Renaissance Festival. Since joining the festival, he has appeared in four failed stage shows, two failed bands, spent one hour in a body puppet and appeared in Vilification Tennis.

Finally realizing that he had found his calling, he spent the remainder of his years judging how funny other people were so he wouldn’t actually have to be funny himself.

He is also in a band called The Dregs (that has not yet failed). They have a website at www.the-dregs.net but we would never push someone else’s web site like that. We have our pride.