Aries 3/21 – 4/19
You will feel very frustrated in the middle of the month. I’m supposed to tell you it’s because of the Sun’s harsh rays stressing the intense Uranus-Pluto square, but it’s more likely because of your impending divorce. Not [...]

Aries (3/21 – 4/19): Look, the stars are telling me a whole lot of stupid shit about you. Jupiter and Pluto want you to forego interpersonal distractions and be responsible, and Mars is in your 7th House of Partnerships, so you [...]

Aries (3/21 – 4/19): The moon is in Pisces, so if your vagina smells extra fishy, that’s why. What’s that? You don’t have a vagina? Then you should probably stop wasting that gynecologist’s time. You should also go wash your balls. [...]