Mitt Romney’s campaign to become the next President of the United States has been besieged by a number of people who are concerned that he may not actually be a Citizen of the United States. The State of Michigan, where Romney claims to have been born in 1947, has been dealing with numerous requests to release Romney’s long form Birth Certificate.
James Fulcrum, who lives in Detroit, where Romney is reputed to have been born, has his doubts.
“I’m from Detroit and I have to say that there aren’t a lot of white people who live here. You know where white people come from? Toronto? I’ll bet he’s Canadian!”
He went to to acknowledge, however, that he could be wrong.
“Hey, as soon as I get my own personal copy of his birth certificate, I’ll accept that he’s an American.”
The Romney campaign has fired back by pointing out that they have released sixteen versions of his Birth Certificate, a picture taken of his mother leaving the hospital carrying Romney, signed affidavits by every single person working in the maternity wing the day he claims to have been born and genetic samples of the afterbirth that fell on the floor of the room where he may or may not have issued forth from his mother’s womb.
Fulcrum is not convinced. ”They could have faked all of that,” he believes. ”I want some of the placenta to do my own genetic testing. Then I’ll buy it.”
Even Romney supporter Donald Trump is concerned. “Look, I’m not saying that Mitt Romney isn’t a citizen of the United States,” he stated to reporters, “I mean, I hope he’s a citizen of the United States. As soon as he allows me to interview his older siblings, who claim to have been in the Detroit Hospital when his mother was screaming in pain due to contractions, I won’t have any doubts left. I’m hoping they’ll have a recording that I can check against her voice patterns.”
“If it’s a match, I’ll be mostly convinced that Mitt is probably a natural born citizen.”
The Obama campaign has been gracious about the controversy. President Obama has even issued a statement in which he says “I know how Governor Romney must feel. It will be my pleasure to help Governor Romney put this controversy to rest so we can focus on the issues.”
“We aren’t interested in any help from the President,” Romney spokesperson Olivia Mungerson shot back, “when Governor Romney was born in 1947, Hawaii wasn’t even a State. From the Governor’s perspective, nobody born in that so-called State is a natural born citizen.”
For his part, Romney has chose to rise above the controversy by refusing to answer questions. His campaign claims that his decision to play “Oh Canada” prior to stump speeches is merely an attempt to reach out to our Canadian Neighbors.
Even if Romney turns out to be a citizen, he wouldn’t get Fulcrum’s vote. Fulcrum points out, “even if he really was born here, he’d still be a Hindu.”