Fashion Police: Dressing Your Fat Ass For Success

muffin-top

The larger woman faces many challenges in catering to her enlarged figure. While the rising rate of obesity in America has contributed to the launch and success of stores such as Torrid and Lane Bryant, which exclusively cater to the “fluffier” female, the sad fact is that many women simply don’t understand how to dress themselves and avoid looking like the proverbial ten pounds of shit.

We questioned several fashion experts for their most secret tubby tips, and are pleased to offer them for you in tis exclusive VilTen featurette:

1. Vertical Stripes Slim

Muffi N’Top, editor of Fun Fearless Fatty, reminds us that stripes can work to a woman’s advantage. “Vertical stripes draw the eye down and create the illusion of slimness,” she offers. “Pinstripes can work, but the larger the figure, the larger the stripe needs to be in order to fool the observer. I recommend that the largest ladies take advantage of their surroundings, and stand behind convenient fences for maximum effect.”

2.  Baby’s Got Black

“It’s been a common fashion staple for decades that black is slimming. Larger ladies wanting to create an hourglass effect should look for tops that are color blocked: one large panel of bright color in the center, with panels of black on the sides. This pulls focus to the center and the black panels almost erase any side overflow that might be present.”  -Thun derThies, weekly fashion columnist, Chew Chew Momma

3. Buy Your Size

“You hit it right on the nail when you talked about the ten pounds of shit in a nine-pound bag – or in this case, a blouse,” dishes Camille Tough, editor-in-chief of Maximum Intake. “Wearing skintight clothes, or clothes that aren’t the correct size, when you’re a larger person just makes you look even bigger. You look so much fatter when you have rolls erupting out of the top of your pants than if you’d just bought a size larger. Clothes that are fitted, and tailored to the figure without being tight, are always the way to go. We need to get over this preoccupation with size as a number and think more of size as a feeling and a look.”

4. Open Your Legs

“Tapered trousers are suicide for a woman with large hips and buttocks,” concludes Bught Crauque, features editor for Scales. “If the pant leg is slim, it creates an inverted triangle effect, and attention is drawn to the very area you want to de-emphasize. I recommend that larger women look for either wide-leg pants, or a pant that is fitted in the thigh and then is a flared or boot-cut shape at the bottom.”