The family has requested that the editor be referred to by his pseudonym, “PedanticEric”, out of concern for his safety.
According to witnesses, a small group of individuals converged on PedanticEric’s house at approximately 2:00 a.m. on the morning of June 10th.
“It was terrible. They were all waving torches, pitchforks, and signs that said things like “NO MOAR SPELLCHEX”. One of them dumped a pile of high school English textbooks on PedanticEric’s lawn and started dousing it with lighter fluid,” was the report of PedanticEric’s neighbor, who wishes to remain anonymous.
“The worst part was when PedanticEric came out of the house with a huge black marker and started correcting the signs. I think that really just sent everyone over the edge.”
The mob allegedly seized PedanticEric’s marker, gagged him, and tied him up with his own clothesline. PedanticEric has not been seen since the incident.
According to police records, last year PedanticEric was cited for destruction of property after correcting the spelling of at least 47 street signs and 12 billboards throughout St. Paul, Roseville, and Falcon Heights. The citation also included disorderly conduct, as PedanticEric engaged in a fifteen-minute argument with the arresting officer about the pronunciation of “Stupid-ass motherfucker”.
Speaking off the record, a member of the St. Paul police department verified that a ransom note has been received. “Between you and me, it doesn’t look good,” said the detective. “The note was covered in red – we aren’t sure whether it’s blood or correction ink. If this guy knows what’s good for him, he’ll keep his mouth shut and his pen capped until we can come up with the ransom.”