Minneapolis Firefighters Teach Kenyans To Fight, Not Worship, Fires

Explaining water

Following the delivery of a third dilapidated fire truck to the Minneapolis sister city of Eldoret, Kenya, firefighters were dispatched to help their counterparts make proper use of Minneapolis’s garbage.

In Eldoret, locals were happy to receive the third vehicle. Fire Brigade Chief Joseph Olweny was particularly pleased. “My mother in law has been living with us since her husband died,” he said, “Now with this third truck, we can move into its cab and let her have her own place in the back of the second one.”

Local school children are expected to benefit from the extra letters in the serial number of the new truck. “This one has an ‘W’, a ‘Z’, and an ‘B’,” said Coventry Cowens, a teacher in the shabby, run-down Eldoret schoolhouse, “We have no books containing those letters, so it is exciting to be able to show these to the children who are not out sick or at work.”

The visit by Minnneapolis firefighters was not without its crises. While visiting a building in flames with local firefighters, Minneapolis personnel were dismayed.

“First, they didn’t use the trucks, they just ran to the base of the smoke,” said Captain Colleen Mullen, “Then they started dancing around. It was like they were worshiping the fire rather than trying to extinguish it.”

A translator helped clear up the confusion. “It turns out they were using the VERY FIRST piece of obsolete firefighting equipment Minneapolis sent to Eldoret, back in 1859,” said Mullen, “a Native American rain dance.” Unlike the latest contributions, Mullen explained the rain dance requires no gasoline or water which are in short supply in Eldoret.

New Tire Sandals

The latest junk fire rig is parked where the first two trucks rest on their rims and serve as homes for a number of the firefighting crew. Eldoret residents gratefully began sawing at the tires as soon as the new truck was rolled into place. “I haven’t had a new pair of sandals in years,” said one man carving a sole out of the worn sidewall. “These will really help with my ten mile round trip to our single fresh-water well every morning.” Nearby local mothers could be seen fitting their children with durable new canvas pants fashioned from the rig’s hose-covers.

Minneapolis firefighters are hopeful that the residents of Eldoret will make good use of the firefighting equipment. “After they stopped laughing at the idea of 100 gallons per second of fresh water, they were really impressed with what hoses could do help put out a fire,” said Minneapolis Assistant Fire Chief Dave DeWall, “Once somebody gives them some gasoline and a network of high pressure fire hydrants we expect they’ll be sold on the idea.”