Police Officer Acts Decently for Entire Career; Retires Under Investigation

The Los Angeles Police Department has opened an investigation on Officer Wilbur Della, age 65. Officer Della retired on January 30th, 2012 after thirty years on the force, but suspicious paperwork surfaced while processing the closing documents of his career.

“We’re going to get to the bottom of this,” said Cheryl Snarkins of Internal Affairs. “We have very high expectations of our officers, and it is troubling to hear that one was not acting within the standards of our department.”

Among the disturbing records, Snarkins revealed that Officer Della hadn’t had a single case of Unreasonable Use of Force charged against him – a smudge on a department with an otherwise one hundred percent compliance rating. “This officer’s conduct threatens to diminish the name of our entire department, and we intend to hold him wholly responsible,” added Snarkins.

Even more disturbing is that no one noticed Officer Della not pulling his weight. Snarkins did admit that Officer Della’s superiors were also under investigation for not attending to his actions earlier. Through decades of riots, protests and most recently the Occupy movement, not one citizen filed a single complaint against Della. Why did no one put an end to Della’s rampage?

We talked to one of Della’s fellow officers who refused to be named. We thought he put black tape over his badge and name for his interview, but he admitted that he put those on during the Occupy protests and just felt better leaving them there from now on. “Now that I don’t have to worry about being identified, it is much more convenient for me to incite violence and attack peaceful citizens without all the ‘oh wah, why are you doing this’ garbage getting in the way.” I asked him if he thought attempting to be unidentified would damage his career or reputation, but the officer just laughed and said, “Oh I’ve got plenty of complaints against me, don’t worry I’ve got my quota.” In fact, his commanding officer (who also wished to remain anonymous) confided in us that this officer is due for a promotion due to his innovative efficiency.

Officer Della’s pension is being withheld until the conclusion of the investigation, which is likely to take seven or more years because, as Snarkins says, “the LAPD is very busy.” However now that this rogue officer is no longer in their ranks and they can focus on all working together, the Los Angeles Police Department can again be a cohesive unit. Hopefully this gained efficiency can close the book on this disgrace to the uniform as soon as possible.