A stunning new poll released on Saturday claims that more African-Americans who plan to vote will cast that vote for Barack Obama in the race for President of the United States of America. It appears that 97% of black Americans will vote for Obama while 0% plan to vote for Mitt Romney.
Romney campaign strategist Barry Okenson said his candidate was shocked to hear these results. “We thought that Obama might have a slight edge in this area, but with such a dynamic, progressive candidate we figured we’d still be getting about 40 to 45 percent. It’s hard to fathom how black people could be so enamored of someone who clearly doesn’t have their interests at heart. I mean, sure, Obama’s black but he’s not a respected businessman like Herman Cain.”
In an effort to reach out and close the percentage gap, the Romney camp has released the following message to blacks all over the country: “Mitt Romney has worked tirelessly in his efforts to help everyone have equal opportunities in this great land, regardless of race, creed or color. It’s as if you people have no idea how much we’ve done for you and your kind.”
Reporters say they are unsure if blacks around the entire country have declined to comment, or if they’re all simply stunned into silence.