Tea Party Discovers Meaning of “Tea Bagging”

The Tea Party thought it had succeeded against all odds when it bucked the Alice in Wonderland “Tea Party” comparison. However they are in an uproar this week as someone accidentally showed them why everyone else is greatly amused when they call themselves “Tea Baggers.”

Allison Homreker went into her seven-year-old son’s room to tell him that dinner was ready, and he was playing the Xbox 360 video game, Halo: Reach. “When I saw the title I knew it was the right game series with which to babysit my Joseph with its fundamental Christian values!”

However Allison was dismayed to then see that instead of skull-fucking a corpse the way a good patriot would, she saw her son’s character squatting on a dead body’s face and yelling, “I’m tea bagging you! Welcome to the Tea Party!” Allison knew right away that something was wrong, because a good proper religious fundamentalist sexually abuses others with the front of his pelvis, not the back. “I was fooled! That heathen game is really a recruiting tool of the homosexual agenda!”

An emergency Tea Party meeting was called. Since some members’ children have since taught them how to use Google, they could not come up with any terms that didn’t reference sexual acts. Therefore they will stick with “Tea Party” for now, but will now call people “unpatriotic” and “socialists” if they so much as snicker.